How to Lose a Reader in 10 Pages...

A practical guide on how to lose a reader in less time than it takes to write a single page.

1. Don't include an inciting incident.

2. Don't make the conflict of your story clear.

3. Add so many named characters within the first 5 pages that your novel starts to feel like a phone directory.

4. Start the story with a very long scene of your character 'thinking' and no action.

5. Info dump as much character backstory as you can before the end of chapter 1.

6. Use "your" when you mean "you're."

...you get the idea.

Jokes aside, all of those are issues I have encountered repeatedly in the manuscripts I edit. If you read the previous list and are worried you might be doing one of them, or worse, are confused about why they're a problem in the first place, this blog post is for you!

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Lacking an Inciting Incident

An inciting incident, also known as a catalyst, is the big thing that happens to your character that sets off the rest of the story.

So far, your character has been living their life a certain way and while it may not be perfect, it's the way it is and they have no plan of changing it. But then, something HUGE happens and their whole life turns upside down. Now, they have to change or do something specific that they wouldn't have done otherwise in order to adapt to their new circumstances.

That's where the story truly begins. That's where it starts getting really interesting for readers. It's what sets the stakes and promises that a certain kind of story is about to follow.

Examples of inciting incidents:

• Primrose Everdeen is selected for the Hunger Games.

  • This is the thing that makes Katniss volunteer and sets off the story of her trying to survive the games and becoming a symbol for the rebellion against the capitol.

• Hagrid tells Harry Potter that he is a wizard and delivers his Hogwarts letter.

  • This is the moment that changes Harry's life. He is no longer the orphan under the stairs, now, he knows he is a wizard and has a chance to join the world of magic.

• Kitty Harris, who has never wanted to get married, get's proposed to by her long-term boyfriend and must decide whether to break his heart or make a decision she will potentially regret.

Literary agents don't all agree on exactly where your inciting incident should be, but the consensus does seem to be that the earlier the better, and definitely within the first twenty-five pages. Some even say it should be within the first five!

Lacking a clear conflict

The main conflict of your story is usually tied to the inciting incident, although that is not always the case. There might be multiple sources of conflict in your story, but the main conflict should always be clear. It refers to the main hurdle that your main character needs to overcome.

• In Katniss's case (Book 1), that's surviving the hunger games.

• In Harry's case (Book 1), it's figuring out who is trying to steal the philosopher's stone and stopping them.

• In Kitty Harris's case, it's getting herself to a point where she can comfortably accept the marriage proposal.

The reason these are so important to clarify early on in the story is because it serves as a plot promise. This is what tells your reader what your story is going to be about. If you don't specify what the main conflict is, your story becomes a little like a documentary and not in a god way.

Picture this, you follow a character's day-to-day for the first twenty pages of a novel. Their life is not necessarily exciting but you get a lot of insight into their relationship with their mother. This continues on for another twenty pages... At this point you'd probably be skimming just trying to get to the action and wondering what the heck this book is going to be about!

Set up should be brief and only there in order to set the stage for the inciting incident and the subsequent conflict it creates. If you're struggling, always ask yourself this: What story am I telling? Try to come up with a one sentence answer.

• I'm telling the story of a girl who must fight for her life at some government sponsored death games.

• I'm telling the story of an orphan boy who finds out he is a wizard and must attend a school of magic and save it from the dark forces that are conspiring to break into its vault.

• I'm telling the story of a woman who must either overcome her fears about marriage to accept her boyfriend's proposal, or decide that she is okay losing him if he can't respect her desires.

Why beginnings matter so much

The beginning of your story is the first chance you have at enthralling your reader with a gripping narrative. It's also what decides their first impression of the book, and depending on the reader, they might never make it to the good parts if the beginning isn't exciting enough.

While it's important that you world-build enough for them to understand what's going on, you don't want to make the beginning of your story boring. Instead, try spreading out all the world-building and backstory information so that it doesn't all sit at the start. This works especially well because backstory will feel more special and important once your reader has come to care for your character.

Beginnings also serve as an introduction. You want your reader to know who the main character is, what their goals, wants, and needs are, and also what journey they are going to go on. Therefore, you don't want to overwhelm your reader with unnecessary information or bombard them with tons of names of side characters that are never going to be seen again in the story.

Note for writers aspiring to be traditionally published: Most literary agents will only ask for the first couple pages of your novel (10 - 15). That means that they will judge your entire book based on a brief summary and its first few pages. So make sure they're a great representation of your writing!

As always, leave a comment if you have any questions (or send them privately through my contact form).

Happy writing!